I am puke
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It was confusing and full of hummus
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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