am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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