no, he came in my armpit
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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