How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize