Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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