imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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