you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
