You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
