Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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