Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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