gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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