It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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