perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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