When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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