funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
