Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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