Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
