The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
