that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
ttyl tear gas
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
