she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
