are you still at the devil's house?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
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