Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
