I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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