Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
