Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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