I am puke
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
