I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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