Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
