dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just cropdusted the office
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize