You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
