Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
