So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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