I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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