Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
