hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize