Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
