I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
is that a dick in a sweater?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize