he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
