he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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