a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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