JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
