The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
wanna go halves on a baby?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
