how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
