Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
whose ass print is on the piano?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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