my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
