i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
