The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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