Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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