I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
