So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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