If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
