haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
