Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
