You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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