If that was your dad, he is hot
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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