Welp...herpes.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize