So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize