My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
They took my balls.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
