my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
vagina is talking i cant
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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