Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
